A South Park Look at Our Economy

My favorite show for the last 10 years has been South Park, so it was great to see their newest episode titled “Margaritaville” making light of our recent economic downturn.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/220760

It’s about 25 minutes but a good break from watching our current depressing financial news.

I Love Making Mistakes!

Ok, I am one month into opening my own business and I have made some mistakes but that’s to be expected. The key is to learn from those mistakes…. here are some of the mistakes I’ve made and lessons learned.

1.) Whatever you think your initial start up costs will be…. double it! It will be more realistic than the original estimate you came up with. The largest factor for small business failure, especially restaurants and other retail endeavors, fail due to under-capitalization. I’m glad I had some extra savings and a line of credit to fall back on… or I’d be in dire straits now. I’m still teetering on the edge, but at least I know I’m on the cusp of making it.

2.) Be ready to deal with anxiety. If you are like me, you believe you have the ability to control your destiny. However when starting your own business, there are many factors that are out of your control. This can frustrate the hell out of you if decide to let worry take over your thoughts. This can cause many sleepless nights and anxiety filled days waiting for an important phone call or lack of a phone call; waiting for contractors to finish; negotiating lease terms with the potential landlord; wondering when your first customer of the day will come in; etc. At first I was very frustrated but then I just decided to not worry about the uncontrollables and move forward with other things that I can control.

3.) Screw the economy!  Seriously… when it comes to opening a restaurant… if the economy is the deciding factor that makes or breaks your business… your business model needs some work. This doesn’t apply to all businesses especially industry specific collapses such as in the mortgage industry, etc but definitely the restaurant industry and many other retail businesses. Blaming the economy is easy to do but not likely the cause of failure. People forget that there are so many other factors that contributed to a business closing its doors…. poor marketing strategy, undercapitalization, lack of controls, inconsistency, poor concept, bad customer service, etc. The economy is a Macro force while the majority of your business works on a micro level (peoples individual decisions).

4.) The tortoise wins the race. This is probably another blog but I think our society shapes how we think in regards to how to obtain success. Many motivated individuals, even myself, try and sprint to the finish line however many times we just run out of steam too early. We go into a new endeavor guns blazing but either end up ill prepared, overwhelmed or just plain burned out. Slow and steady progression towards a higher standard will not only ease your anxiety by having small victories along your path to keep your spirits up but it will also help you improve your business’ products, services, human capital, efficiency and in the end your profit margin.

5.) Don’t work in your business work on your business. Dealing with the day to day issues and minor details can bog down your entrepreneurial juices. Handling the day to day operations and putting out fires everyday can make you feel like you are being productive and building your business but it’s completely the opposite. Once you fall into the trap of running the day to day tasks, you end up neglecting the most important job you have… to grow your business.

Being a start up boot-strapper, I am forced to do a lot of the day to day work so I struggle to consistently have the time or the desire (since I am exhausted many times) to come up with new ideas to improve my business but I still try and do it. I can see how easily it is to get lost in working at my cafe and never growing beyond a marginally profitable business because I work in my business instead of on it. I think this is why so many restaurateurs feel like slaves to their business. They are too pre-occupied with the details that they lose sight of the bigger picture. I can see this pitfall and I am challenging myself to not end up like them. My cousin in-law, Ken, expressed to me that his dad told him that his restaurant was like “a prison”… he was always there and could never leave. Ikes! I’d hate to have my dream end up being my prison!

6.) Your people MAKE your business. I’m probably beating a dead horse from all the past posts I have written but your ability to cultivate good relationships with your employees is probably the single most important factor that will determine your ultimate success. The success of my business so far has all to do with my employees. They show up to work with a great attitude. They are passionate about what they do. They are open to sharing ideas with me to help improve “our” business and also they are helping spread the word. I spend a lot of time talking to them, hanging out with them and just getting to know who they are and their unique situations. That way they can help me achieve my dreams and I can help them achieve theirs. I know one day, I will help these people achieve their dreams. Not all of them, but the ones who desire to be more… I hope that one day; I can reward them for their dedication to me….

The last thing I learned is that if it’s not hard, it’s not worth getting. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

My Financial Black Hole

I literally have a financial black hole in the back of my space.  It’s called a Grease Trap.  The reason why it’s a financial black hole is because the city sewer line was not in the usual place it is supposed to be.  So not only did they have to dig around for it but they ended up finding it underneath the nail salon next door!  Which poses a big problem as well. 

So the last week I have anxiously waiting for them to find it and crossing my fingers that this grease trap project doesn’t financially ruin me before I even open.  There are a lot of worse case scenarios left that really are scaring me…. but what can I do?  my strategy is to try and put it out of my mind and not worry about things I cannot control. 

My original decision to open a bubble tea cafe was partly decided by the fact I would not need one of these gigantic pieces of concrete with antiquated technology.  However as of this past year the local municipality has decided that smoothie shops as well as all coffee shops are required to have one.  After some back and forth with the city health dept, they are still requiring me to install the thing even though I generate almost no grease….<sigh>

So my construction budget has tripled due to the grease trap and the challanges I face.  My original contract amount was a mere $11K… back then I thought that was a lot… now I guess I am numb to it all…  Here is my latest change order….

The only thing I can look at is the bright side… now that I have a grease trap… I can generate as much grease I want to!  So fried food, bbq, grills are all possibilities!  So hopefully once I iron out kinks in my business model with a few months under my belt, I can go ahead and open up a revenue stream for food as well. It will help me recoup some of my losses as well as allow me to pursue my original idea. 

At this point I am quite worried… but there is little I can control.  And I have realized that lack of control in my start up is probably the biggest obstacle I face in my path towards my vision.  Waiting on the approval of the city as well as the health dept and my contractor is the hardest thing for me.  This has strained me… but I know it has made me stronger…. pray for me….

How Important is an Identity?

For me it’s where everything starts.  Without it, it’s hard for me to visualize my business and make purchasing, menu, hiring and construction decisions without it.  So I first decided on my logo and my brand identity.  Check it out and lemme know what you think.

My slogan is: Fru*t3alic*ous… The Art of Mixology.   My goal is to postion myself as a high end bubble tea, frozen drink specialty chain.  Prices are not much different from a standard bubble tea/ smoothie shop but the identity is stronger and the creative drink mixes and the “art of mixology” is what I feel will separate me from my competition.  I’ll be serving a variety of creative drink cocktails such as Icy jazzberry Java or Artic Watermelon blast.  Lots of them are based from cocktails and redone with juices, syrups, frozen yogurt, sodas, ice, and real fruits.  Sort of a treat that you can have anytime at a very reasonable price.  After dinner, before grovery shopping, on a date, before a movie, after shool, etc.

Anyways… after putting a few coming soon posters up, lots of people have asked me if it was a chain.  I think that’s a great thing.  Hopefully a strong brand will set me up for a great future in franchising my system and creating a solid brad loyalty.  lemme know what you think….

Location, Location, Location…. At Least Mine That Is

Here is a picture of the location I picked out to start my first Fru*t3alic*ous cafe. (I’m changing the letters to avoid random googling of my brand to lead to this blog.

After weeks of driving around through the Dallas “metroplex”, I ended up choosing this location over other potential sites. I was attracted to this site due to a few good indicators and circumstances involving the space:

1.) The entrance of my store is within 100 feet of the entrance of the largest Albertson’s (regional supermarket chain) in Dallas. You can’t see it in the picture, but it’s right where the picture cuts off on the left side. There is a ton of foot traffic generated from this store alone since there really is not another grocery store within a 4 mile radius.

2.) There is a McDonald’s located across the street.  Figuring Mcdonalds does their homework when it comes to demographics and potential future growth in property values when selecting locations. Traffic count was approx 100K vehicles/ day. Average household income was approx. $80K… off the top of my head within 5 miles.

3.) Also, on that intersection where my store is at, there is a CVS, Walgreens, Subway, Quiznos, Home Depot and a Blockbuster there.  So there are lots of reasons to drive and park next to my location. These Anchor tenants would really help my business.

4.) The local high school is within half a mile from my store.  Since it is within walking distance, I can make it a local afters chool hang out. Every weekday at approximately 3pm (school gets out at 2:30) all the kids go to Mcdonalds to eat and hang out. I count approx. 50 kids or so everyday when I am there. From what people have told me, they used to come to the coffee shop. Good news for me!

5.) The public library and community senior center is about a block away… lots of great resources for me and my business plus libraries can draw people from farther away.

6.) The police, fire station and city hall is within a 1/4 mile from me. I’m pretty much in the center of town. Carrollton is a suburb of Dallas with a approx. population of about 110,000 people.

7.) I was able to negotiate 4 free months of rent and $7000 in Tenant Improvement. It took a lot of selling on my part due to my lack of experience in running a retail business, low net worth (compared to most business startups) and me being so young. But in the end I had a solid business plan and brand identity the landlord felt that he would take a chance on.

8.) The previous tenant ran a coffee shop that also served smoothies and bubble tea so there is already an existing market for it.  From my conversations with him, he was asked by his father to run their dry cleaning business so he stopped running this store. He must have made a killing since he still paid the rent without fail so the landlord did not advertise the availability until recently due to his lease term ending in 2 months.

9.) Previous tenant sold me all his equipment for $2500!  2 Fridges, expresso machine, ice machine, blenders, furniture, 3 computers, coffee makers, leftover inventory, etc. The cost of the equipment new was approximately $70K!

10.) Since the space was laid out well, it would only need cosmetic renovations which would keep my start up costs extremely low due to the tenant improvement allowance.

Here are some pics of the inside of the place prior to renovation.

In the end I felt I did pretty well to choosing a place that would set me up for success. I think I was just at the right place at the right time. Finding a fully equipped coffee/ smoothie shop that was closed for business due to reasons not stemming from poor business…. getting relatively good terms on renovation reimbursement (tenant improvement) and a good period of time to get this place open (4 free months) really made my first business venture a lot less stressful and increased my chances for success.

The last few weeks I have been in the store to meet with various contractors, insurance guys, service people, etc I always have random people pop their heads in and ask if I was reopening. They all expressed to me they loved the place prior and always asked why it closed down. The great thing is that they all seem to anticipating the opening of my store and will be first in line to try my creative drink creations.

My expected soft opening is Oct 20th and my scheduled grand opening is Halloween weekend. Lots of things to do before then, but it all seems to be coming together ahead of schedule and under budget…. just keep plugging away… there is always some fear in the back of my mind but it seems to be a positive motivating factor for me rather than something that holds me back.  I guess at this point there is not turning back anyways.. haha..

“Love what you do and you will never work a day in your life.” ~Someone who know’s what they are talking about.

I’m Back! Sorry….

No…. I didn’t forget about my blog nor did I decide to stop writing it. It’s been about 3 months since my last entry and I do apologize to all you readers for my lapse. However I have good reasons for my absence. A lot of what I have written about is about creating change in your life and stepping outside your comfort zone. So lemme give you an update on what changes have happened in my life……

The whole month of May, since I had quit my job, I spent most of it moving and packing my belongings into storage. It probably wasn’t a good idea that I picked a storage unit 40 minutes away from my house… but I guess you live and learn. Anyways, I ended up being a one man moving crew for a 1800 sq foot apartment with way too much junk. It sort of made me grateful that I worked in an office. Manual labor is tough. Working hard doesn’t always lead to success. It’s about working smart coupled with working hard that will guarantee the fulfillment of your dreams.

Then on Memorial Day weekend, I got married. After 1.5 years of waiting around and planning, it was all worth it. Having everyone there to celebrate was amazing. We tried not to have the focus on us even though it was our wedding. Our goal was to try and throw the best party we could for our friends. Nothing made us happier than seeing and hearing our friends and family having so much fun. Plus we knew it would probably be the last time we saw our friends for a while.   So what better way to say goodbye than with a huge party.

After we got married, we went to travel  Asia. We decided to do this because we knew that if we didn’t do it now, we may never get a chance to go. We ended up visiting Hong Kong, Bali, Macau, Beijing, Shanghai, Xi’an and Taiwan. After Bali, we met up with my little brother and sister and traveled through China and Taiwan with them. We spent a total of 5 weeks in Asia. I must say, it was an eye opening experience. It wasn’t that I was surprised about what I saw or who I met, it was more the realization that my “world” was so small. I realized that most people, including myself, live in a 50 mile circle around their house for most of their lives. Flying over the vast oceans and the islands of the Pacific, I realized how insignificant our existence really is. So it gave me the awareness and desire to live a life of greater meaning… a life of significance!

So I finally got back to the states in early July and to make a long story short… we drove down with my car. Then I flew back to NY and drove down the 17′ Uhual with my wife’s car in tow by myself over 3 days… scary… wouldn’t do it again. Wouldn’t recommend it to anyone either. It it was great because it finally gave me a chance to to be by myself and think. I believe that it is fundamentally one of the most important things you can do to deal with stress, assess your goals, and create BIG dreams. Many times I get overloaded with juggling everything in my life and I end up losing myself for a while. Only until I give myself my “alone time” do I feel whole again. Try it… spend an afternoon by yourself at the park or riding your bike with no music… you’re vision for your future will become much clearer.

Finally I get to Dallas… ah… my new beginning… I never thought Dallas would be so right… but after being here for 2 months, I must say I like it better than Long Island. Their is more stuff to do here, lots of places to eat, cheaper cost of living, great shopping (from what I see), and most importantly the people here care. It’s strange to say but I like people asking me, “How are your doing?” and actually wanting a real answer instead of a curt NY style reply such as, “Good”. When I was in NY, I actually preferred people NOT caring… I guess it’s because I was just like everyone else… cynical and feeling no need to be overly nice to strangers. I do miss my friends and family, but now with internet and free long distance, they distance has shrunk quite a bit.
But I’m glad I am here. I wake up each morning and I am as happy as can be. What a difference a change in scenery can do for you. So this is my time to start fresh… all the mistakes I have made in the past have just been erased! I think that if you plan to take massive action in your life, you must plan for it ahead of time. With proper preparation, your chance of success is significantly greater. So go out and start planning the life you want to live. Be who you always wanted to be. Work where you always wanted to work. Live where you always wanted to live and be with whomever you’ve always wanted to be with. Everything is achievable…..as long as your are willing to make short term sacrifices for long term goals.

So that is the story of the last 3 months. However I purposefully left out one of the most dramatic changes in my life and that is my new business venture.  I promise you that this blog will be updated again like it had in the past. I realized that it really holds me accountable and keeps me always thinking positively and selflessly.

I originally started writing this blog to catalog my thoughts and process on how I “cook up success”. I wanted to give people a story of how my journey unfolds and the lessons I learn. So my next blog entry will truly be the start of a long term “case study” of how I am setting up my food service business up for success and all the challenges I will overcome. It’s not a matter of whether I will be successful or not. It’s only a question of how successful I will be. Only time will tell… but I will tell you things don’t look good……. they look AMAZING! Stay tuned…

The Grass IS Greener on the Other Side

Many people spend their whole lives sitting on the train looking out the window and watching life pass them by. They sit there afraid to get off at the next stop for fear of never being able to get back on. They see things though the window that excite them, but that is not enough to get them to get off the train to explore the possibilities. The comfort and security of the train is what keeps them there. The fact that they know definitively where the train is going is whatkeeps them tightly in their seats.

Finally the last stop has arrived and they get off the train. They look back in the direction in which they had came and wonder what could have been. They stand there in solitude at the station with only their old beat up work bag in hand with no stories to tell and no one of significance to tell them to. Standing there on the platform after the train has left, these people can still hear the distant echo of the train fading into the distance. Click Clack… click clack…click clack… click clack….

You turn towards the direction in which you had come from and you begin to wish that you had not stayed on the train… after all…. you already knew where it would end up. But is is too late… you are too tired and too old to do those things you once dreamed of. You resign yourself to sit there on the bench and hope that the train will come by one last time so you can try and do those things you never got a chance to do….

Today is the day that you will decide that you no longer want to sit on the train and watch the scenery go by. After all, you know where it’s going and what’s waiting for you at the last stop. Happiness is a choice. If you catch yourself dreaming of better things or believing you deserve more than what you currently have then that is your sign to get off the train and pursue your happiness. Fulfillment doesn’t come from accepting what life gives you… it comes from you taking what you want from it!

I promise you… for I have experienced it first hand… the grass IS greener on the other side.

A Bitter End…..

The Story of the Scorpion and the Frog

In a forest far far away, there lived a scorpion and a frog. One day the forest they lived in caught on fire. The fire had enveloped the whole forest and the scorpion and the frog were pinned against the edge of the forest and a river. The only way out was to go across the river.

So the scorpion asked the frog, “Can you help me get across the river?”

The frog replied, “Why would I take you across the river? You’re just going to sting me. “

The scorpion replied, “That’s ridiculous! If I stung I would drown with you? I’m not that stupid.”

The frog thought for a moment and realized that this was true and it would be stupid for the scorpion to sting him. So he let the scorpion climb on his back and he jumped into the river and started swimming to the other end. They were a little over half way to the other side and all of a sudden, the frog felt a sharp pain in his back. He realized that the scorpion had just stung him. So right before they both drowned, the frog turned to the scorpion and asked him, “Why did you sting me??? Now we are both going to die.”

The scorpion said to him, “I couldn’t help it… it’s in my nature.”

This past Wednesday was my last day of work. After working there 6 full years and helping build the company’s culture and creating a lot of wealth for the owner, I felt that I would be treated differently from all the others that had left previously. Every person that had left prior had been treated callously and in a cold manner. They all left with their heads down and regretful of ever working their. The owner had taken people leaving his company as a personal thing so he would not give them a fond farewell but instead would show them the door and slam it shut once they stepped foot outside.

So I thought I would be different. After all I had gave it my all these last 6 years. I led by example. I helped him grow his business 10 fold. I worked 7 days a week for him when it was needed. I transformed a negative company culture to a positive place to work. I treated my work like I owned the company. I even gave it my all to the final hour of me working there…. so what happened??

That morning, I woke up excited that I would leave my company in a positive light. I had worked hard for so long and always been loyal to the owner. As a executive in his company I thought that I would be bid a nice farewell. So I brought in some food for the other employees to celebrate my last day. Everything seemed like it would be a great way to end a long tenure with the company. I would not share the same fate as all the others.

In the afternoon, I finish up a final meeting with the owner and the web developers for our new site and I decide to take lunch and then come back and say goodbye to everyone. Before I left, the office manager came up to me and told me that my check would only have 42 sales to be paid on it. I was confused because I had just received my payroll log a day b4 telling me I was to be paid on 58 sales. I asked her why and she just gave me a look of helplessness and said, “That’s what he said to pay.”

So I went into the owners office and confronted him on why I was only getting paid on 42 cars. He then blamed it on a mistake the office manager had made about including commissions that we had not gotten payment on. I knew this was a flat out lie because in the 6 years I had worked there, I had received these logs and never was there a discrepancy between the payroll log and my paycheck. For him to lie straight to my face and blame someone else for his dishonesty, was one of the most hurtful things that I had felt in a long time. Since I had outstanding commissions that are supposed to get paid for the next 3-4 months, I knew I would never see the commissions I had earned. This was a sign of things to come…

So I left the office very angry and upset about my boss shaving 20% of my commission thinking I would not know. I go out with one of my coworkers for lunch since she had wanted to treat me out before I left. We got back around 4pm and she had punched in the security code to the office and I went to my desk to retrieve my belongings and shut down my computer. I was sitting at my desk and the owner comes up and asks me, “How did you get in here? Does your code still work?”

I was a bit confused at first but then I realized that he had already changed my door code so I could not get in. He had already changed the code before I even left!

Suddenly an overpowering feeling of hurt came over me. All I could think about was how much of my soul I had given to this guy to fill his pockets with money and he not only was trying to screw me out of my commissions before I even left but he didn’t even give me the courtesy of waiting until I left to delete my pass code….

This was not how I had pictured my final farewell. I didn’t deserve to be treated in such a callous way. There was no appreciation or gratitude for the effort and loyalty I had put in. So, I said goodbye to everyone in the office with my sunglasses on because I could not stop the tears from coming because of my ultimate realization that everything I had done for this man, I had done for nothing. All the love I had shown to this company and loyalty I had given, I thought might be reciprocated? I was wrong….

As i walked out of those doors one final time, the first steps i took were full of pain, resentment, and anger. But as i got closer and closer to my car, those same footsteps began to change into sounds of sorrow and pity for my ex boss. I now realized that his life was full of disloyalty, dishonesty and constant pain brought onto him by others. This never ending cycle would not end for him unless he somehow became awakened. Living in his own prison of misery and distrust was were he would spend his time for the foreseeable future…. and he would always think that it was others who had wronged him… when in reality it was him who had caused their actions…..

A bitter end to a otherwise wonderful time in my life. I still love many of the people who are there… but I began to wonder, will these people share the same fate as me? As the frog has learned…. It’s in his nature…..

Designing My Logo

While I do feel I have somewhat of an artistic eye, I am very certain that I do not have the skill set or ability to create a logo that would capture my idea. That is why designers are designers. The problem is that professional designer can be quite expensive. However, I have found a great site for people who are looking for logo designs that fit their budget.

99Designs.com uses an idea called crowd-sourcing. The idea is that you are outsourcing to a general, undefined group of people. The site allows you to create a contest of your own in which you determine the prize amount for the winner. This allows for people of all budgets to get designers to take a stab at their logo, website design or other design projects.

Check out my contest:

My Logo Design Contest

The key to this site’s success I believe is that you can give feedback to each designer and have them improve upon the design. The more feedback you give them, the better the end result.

I’m only on day 3 or 7 and I have over 50 submissions. The variety of submissions really gives you a lot of ideas on which direction you want to go. Definitely check this site out if you are boot-strapping your business and don’t have a huge budget but still want a nice design. Even if you have a pocket full of start up capitol, it’s still a great place to get a design done.

Teach People How You Want To Be Treated

Have you ever met someone that always gets lied to by their friends or significant others? Did you ever wonder why this person doesn’t seem to get it? He/ she lives in their own bubble and doesn’t see that that much of their perceived disloyalty from others is caused by their own actions.

These people many times are the only people in the room that don’t see that their relationships are based on a superficial web of half-truths and lies. It’s because these people ended up indirectly teaching the people around them how they wanted to be treated. The desire for them to fit in, to be respected or to preserve their fragile ego is the root of the problem. They do not want to hear the truth unless it will be congruent with their image of themselves.

For example, the owner of the company that I work for is an extremely distrustful and manipulative person. I believe much of his distrust stems from many times of being lied to or screwed over. These past experiences have formed his current situation. The relationships he has with his employees are those based on fear and false promises. He is a person who always asks rhetorical questions such as, “Am I not always fair?” or “When have I ever not respected you?” The only answer you can provide him as an employee is a meek “Yes” even though your real answer is “All the time!”. He truly believes that he is honest, fair and respectful of others even though others do not see this. His own self identity is further reinforced by these “forced” answers from people who are not put in a position to tell him the truth for fear of losing their job.

One of our long time employees left the company about a week ago so he could pursue a better opportunity in California. However the owner found out today that this employee had never left New York and was now working for the competitor. When he found out, he said to me, “People will all screw you!” He was so angry that he had been lied to that he was cussing and swear with no restraint for the display of the whole office (this has become a usual occurrence in our office). His feelings of hurt are understandable however this level of unprofessional behavior just added to people’s perception of him in the office as being . As you read on you will realize that he had made his own bed.

I sat there thinking, “Hmmm…. maybe you should have treated your past employees differently, this would not have happened. The reason why this employee had to lie was that because the last 5 employees that worked in his department who left got screwed out of the commissions they had earned while employed with the company. These people, for the most part, had been acceptable employees that never did anything to deserve getting screwed. However, the owner was vengeful angry that these people had left him ad decided that they would have to fight him in court to receive their monies. So why would things be any different with this guy?? That is why he chose not to tell him.

His choice was to either tell the owner that he was leaving to work for another competitor and guarantee that he would lose a few thousand dollars worth of back-pay commissions due to the owner feelng betrayed OR lie to him and tell him a story and have a good chance of getting paid the money he honestly earned?

I don’t condone lying, however, this person never had the opportunity to do the right thing. It is sad that this had to happen this way, but this result was caused by the owners past behavior towards the employee as well as other past employees.

To Illustrate the same principle about teaching others how you want to be treated…Another example is, I have a friend who’s girlfriend is quite insecure. She always has to be by his side all the time. She ends up smothering him and always keeping tabs on him. So on the rare occurrences he is out by himself, she is always checking up on him. He is always forced to lie about what he is doing and where he is at because she does not accept the truth as more important than what she wants to hear. She has taught him that it is okay to lie to her as long as it makes her happy. Their relationship is now built on a foundation of lies instead a foundation of truths.

All these people have provided an instruction manual on how people should treat them.

They create rules such as:

“If you tell me something that I don’t like, I will create pain toward you.”

“If you lie to me and tell me what I want to hear, you will not be yelled at.”

“If you tell me the truth, if it hurts, I will get angry at you.”

“If you trust me enough to think that I will pay you without legal action, you are sadly mistaken.”

“If you tell me I am wrong, you will be in danger of losing your job.”

These people have chosen to surround themselves with people who have been conditioned to tell them what they want to hear. The people that aren’t, they are no longer friends with. By only allowing people to tell them what they want to hear they are really living a life based on a false self image and filtered communication. But in the end will only make them suffer again and again. Sometimes the truth hurts. Living in your self created world of denial will only prolong the inevitable and increase the level of anguish that will surface at a later date.

The lesson to be learned is that it is not always OTHER people who disappoint you, many times it may be YOU that taught them to treat you this way. Stop taking yourself so seriously and start teaching people that you WILL listen to them with an open mind and no consequence. ONLY THEN will you unlock the secret to consistent fulfilling relationships.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy ~Bob Marley

Wouldn’t it be great if you could live stress-free and live a life full of happiness and joy with nothing to weigh you down? It’s not as hard as you may think and you don’t have to smoke pot like Bob Marley. . All you have to do is accept things as they happen.

The choice is yours to decide how much mental energy you will spend on worrying about the situation. It is perfectly human to feel angry, stressed, worried, or upset over a situation. However, if you cant change what has already happened, why expend all your energy worrying about it. Constant worry about your credit, finances, your job situation, girlfriend, or even life goals can take a big toll on your physical, emotional and psychological health. Not only will you hurt yourself, but you will also affect others around you.

Why not consciously decide to stop your cycle of negative thought and move past the worrying. After all, will spending more time worrying change your situation? The answer is no. The sooner your move towards analyzing your worry, finding the cause and formulating a solution for it, the sooner you will be back on the Yellow Brick Road of happiness.

A tell tale sign of whether you are afflicted with the Worry Bug is if you catch yourself saying, “I’ve got a lot on my mind.” or “I feel overloaded.” This may be a sign that you are dwelling on things for too long.

Here are a few key Dale Carnegie principles for dealing with stress that we teach in class.

1.) Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?” Then prepare to accept the worst and try to improve on the worst case scenario

2.) Remind yourself of the price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.

3.) Cooperate with the inevitable. If you can’t change it, why worry about it.

4.) Decide how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to five it more.

5.) Don’t worry about the past. Focus on the present.

(Preventative Principles on How to Feel Happy and Stress-free)

6.) Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.

7.) Never try to get even with your enemies! Revenge is not sweet.

8.) Expect ingratitude. Most people will not be as polite, pleasant or caring as you are.

9.) Count your blessings- not your troubles. Celebrate your successes not your failures.

10.) Create Happiness for others. Cultivate your Interdependency.

If you would like to learn more on How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, check out the book by Dale Carnegie. It’s an easy read and may change your daily outlook on life.

Let’s all try and stop worrying about things we can’t change. Let’s start today….

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Persistence and the Story of Abraham Lincoln

“Success is not measured by how high you jump, but by how high you bounce back.” ~JP

I was snowboarding 2 weekends ago at Mount Windham. I had just gotten a new board and I went on my first run. Less than 20 seconds into the run, I clipped an edge and I took a bad tumble. I laid their for a few seconds waiting for the pain to subside. All of a sudden a kid about 7-8 years old stopped right next to me and asked me if I was OK.

I told him I was fine, he then proceeded to say, “Every time you fall, you’re learning.” Such a simple principle seems to be forgotten by most adults.

Why do people settle for just being average? It’s because they have conditioned themselves to fear failure. So when they fail, they stop trying. They have been taught that winning is good and losing is bad. But that logic is false. The more failures you have the better you become.

Think of an incident in your life where you grew as a person…..

Chances are it was a result of some sort of rejection, failure or loss. These are the times when you grow the most. So it is important to try your best to push your limits so you fail often and continue to grow as a person

When things are going well, no one bothers to change. Even when things are going poorly, most people know they should change, but they push it off. Only when they hit rock bottom, does change begin to occur. That is why drug addicts can’t quit until they hit the very bottom or that most obese people don’t change until they suffer a heart attack or medical emergency.

So if you have a great business idea, a desire to improve a skill, a bad habit to quit or just want to accomplish a goal the only way to do it is to try, try and try again until you have succeeded. Remember that every time you fail, you take one step closer to your goal. So….

NEVER GIVE UP.

How did Abraham Lincoln develop the character to become one of the greatest presidents in our history? It sure wasn’t from luck or a privileged life. Take a moment and read the sequence of events in this man’s life and his path to greatness.

Event	Year
He had to work to support his family after they were forced out of their home.	1816
His mother died.	1818
Failed in business.	1831
Was defeated for legislature.	1832
Lost his job and couldn’t get into law school.	1832
Declared bankruptcy, and spent the next 17 years of his life paying off the money he borrowed from friends to start his business.	1833
Was defeated for legislature again.	1834
Was engaged to be married, but his sweetheart died and his heart was broken.	1835
Had a nervous breakdown and spent the next six months in bed.	1836
Was defeated in becoming the speaker of the state legislature.	1838
Was defeated in becoming elector.	1840
Was defeated for Congress	1843
Was defeated for Congress.	1846
Was defeated for Congress again.	1848
Was rejected for the job of Land Officer in his home state.	1849
Was defeated for Senate.	1854
Was defeated for Vice-President — got less than 100 votes.	1856
Was defeated for Senate for the third time.	1858
Was elected President of the United States.	1860

After seeing all the tragedy and failures throughout his life, I now understand why he is now considered one of the greatest presidents in the history of our country. So start your path to greatness today and push your comfort zone and learn from your experience. Persistence is the key to making your dreams a reality.

The REAL Magic of Compound Interest

It has been rumored that Einstein was asked what the greatest invention of his time was and he replied, “Compound Interest.”

I did the research and it is pretty certain that he didn’t say this but it would be ranked as one of the greatest inventions of the 20th century.

I’m sure all of you know what compound interest is and your financial adviser may have beaten this into you so I’m not going to explain it. I’m just going to show you how to use it properly. You will find these examples very interesting and enlightening.

Example 1: The Path of 3 People With the Same Intentions

Let’s say Shawn, Steve and Jack are all 25 years old. They all have finished college and have been working for the last few years making the same amount of money. They all have dreams of retiring rich and but have some difficulty making ends meet since they pay themselves last. However, they all are told to take a seminar provided by their HR department at work about saving for retirement and encouraging them to pay themselves first. After the meeting, they all agree that saving for retirement is important. However they all take different routes.

Steve decides to pay himself first. He sets up an automatic payroll deduction to an investment account that will yield and average of 8% and lives below his means. He invests $2000 per year into this account for the first 10 years until he is 35 years old. At that time he stops and never puts in a dime until he is 65 years old. At that time, he looks at his statement and he sees that his portfolio is worth a whopping $318,000!

Shawnon the other-hand says that he really can’t afford it right now since he can barely pay his bills as it is. He procrastinates thinking that he will invest as soon as he makes enough money. 10 years go by and he finally realizes that he needs to start saving for his retirement. He is still young at the ripe age of 35, so he figures he has time and it won’t make much of a difference. He visits his financial adviser and says, “I’d like to retire with the same $318,000 that my friend Steve will have when he is 65 years old.” His adviser tells him that is not a problem. Since he waited 10 years, all he has to do is invest $2600 per year for the REST OF HIS LIFE until he is 65 to accumulate the same amount that Steve saved in only 10 years.

Jackon the other-hand did what Steve did, but didn’t stop at 35 and kept putting in $2000 every year until he was 65 years old. His portfolio balance ended up at $559,562.08. Sweet!

The most important thing about compound interest is that you have to allow it time to work it’s magic. Without the necessary time, you will never see the true beauty of it. So start saving as much as you can now so you do not have to later.

Example 2: A Cheap Round of Golf

You and your friend decide to play a round of golf. He says to you, “Hey, let’s put a little bit of money to make it interesting. Le’s bet a dime on the first hole and every hole after, let’s double the ante to make the game more interesting as we get warmed up.” You confidently agree knowing that you are about the same level as him and you can’t lose that much money if you start from 10 cents. So you start your round with him and here is how the bets go.

Hole Wager

1 $0.10

2 $0.20

3 $0.40

4 $0.80

5 $1.60

6 $3.20

7 $6.40

8 $12.80

9 $25.60

So things are looking pretty good. The bets are still reasonable even though the bets have gotten a lot bigger over the last 3 holes or so. So you make the turn and start playing the back 9 trying to win some of your money back…..

10 $51.20

11 $102.40

12 $204.80

13 $409.60

14 $819.20

15 $1,638.40

16 $3,276.80

17 $6,553.60

18 $13,107.20

Wow! Now that is an expensive round of golf! Who would have though that you would be wagering over $13,000 by the end of the round starting from an initial bet of 10 cents.

This shows how important it is to never take money out of your retirement savings and to allow yourself enough time for your money to grow. By taking taking money out early, you are in essence taking away the amount of holes you play. If you played 5 less holes you would only be betting $409 instead of $13,107 by the end of the day! That’s 32 times smaller than if you played a full 18 holes!

Do yourself a favor, pay yourself first because if you don’t it will be too late. That means have your retirement as well as your savings directly taken out before it even hits your bank account. You my feel right now that you can’t afford the $40 it takes per week to save $2000 a year but what other choice to you have? You can’t afford not to. If you are not comfortable with that amount then start smaller. Start with $10. Open an ING Direct account or any other on-line bank. (This prevents you from being able to withdraw it on a whim.) You can print out a form and give it to your HR person to start the automatic withdrawal. It may be be uncomfortable for the first month or 2 but soon you won’t even notice.

There is nothing better than to know that your future is secure and that you have money in the bank so you are ready for anything life throws at you. Remember that compound interest takes a while to get revved up but once it does, wow! Every year you allow it to grow, the rewards increase exponentially.

I hope you found these examples interesting. It’s just a different way to look at it.

BTW… click here for a compound interest calculator that can assist you with figuring out how much you need to put away for your retirement.

Interdependence: Give And You Shall Recieve

(This is one of the most important posts I have posted… please read.)

Throughout most of the last 8 years since that first summer selling books door to door, I have lived a great life. Many of the things that I wanted to accomplish my life, I had achieved. I kept strong relationships with my most important friends, I have a wonderful and supportive fiance, a good relationship with my family, and accomplished most of my financial goals as well as my work related goals that I had set forth for myself. During this time, I have always felt that I was the master of my domain. I did not need the help of others to achieve my personal goals. Other than managing some people at work, I pretty much counted on myself to do what needed to be done. The problem that I had was that I never felt that level of fulfillment that I thought I would feel after my achievements. There was something missing. I keep setting new goals thinking that by accomplishing them I could attain that level of satisfaction that I knew was out there. But I never did….

I know there are many of you who are successful as well have experienced that same exact feeling. It bothered me so much that I needed to find the answers. So about a year ago, I really began to listen to a lot of self improvement tapes as well as increasing my reading. This opened my eyes to the rules of success. I wanted to share this with everyone that I knew because I saw how much it had changed my life. All I wanted to do was have them see what I see. So I changed my approach on life of just trying to only improve myself, but also trying to help others improve their own lives.

I shortly realized that most people were content just being who they were. I knew that their time just wasn’t right. So all I did was just suggest to them a few books or audio tapes(Most were never read or listened to). My conversations with them were no longer about drinking, partying, girls, or sports. These conversations started to become more substantial and we always ended up talking about their goals and desires as well as mine. During these times, I saw that look of desire burn within their eyes telling me that they yearned for something greater than what they currently were. I always tried to encourage these people to pursue their dreams and to embrace ideas. My goal was to give whatever I could give to these people with no expectation of a benefit for myself. All I wanted was to see the people I loved succeed in their pursuit of happiness.

I did this for months and I really did not see much progress. I knew that I could not force these people, who I truly loved, to see what I saw. What I saw was that there was a world out there for the taking. I saw life for what it was, just a game. All they had to do was know the rules of the game and they could consistently win at it. I kept doing what I was doing. I did it consistently in everything that I did. Whether I was at work talking to my employees or at Barnes and Nobles giving money to the high school student sitting out front collecting donations. I gave whatever I could. I began to stop worrying about how I needed that money for my wedding or how I had seen little progress in many of the people I had spoken to. Everyday, my goal was to try and add value to someone else’s life. Whether it be a nice compliment, a conversation about someones goals for the future, or a training session with an employee at work or a donation to a charity, I did what I could.

After a while I stopped consciously trying to help people out and it just ended up being a more positive person. I pretty much forgot about my endeavor to try and help my friends and family at that point and was just trying to enjoy my life. If I affected other people’s lives? Great! I no longer thought that it was necessary for me force something upon them that they weren’t interested in.

However, a single day at the end of this past June, would change the direction of my life forever. I was sitting in my office talking with Vanessa, one of my employees. She has a wonderful spirit and she was one of the few people that was at the right time in here life to embrace much of the stuff I was trying to show to others. I had seen a transformation in her that I have not seen since my book days with Southwestern. I was talking to her about giving everyone a chance and to not just dismiss people as failures. I told her a story about how my student manager at Southwestern, Michelle, was the only person to believe in me at my most desperate hour. I was in a monsoon of trouble with school, partying, anger, and credit collectors. I felt hopeless and decided to avoid my problems all together with my non stop partying. But her belief in me to be greater was the reason why I decided to not listen to all the naysayers who told me that Southwestern Company was a cult, how dangerous it was or how I wouldn’t make any money. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. But that decision changed the direction of my life forever. That summer was the hardest thing I had ever done and I couldn’t have done it without her belief in me as well as my other manager Marty’s incessant positive outlook that summer.

After I had told her the story, Vanessa said to me, “JP, Your are that person my MY life.” Those words, made me finally understand what I had been searching for for the last 8 years. That feeling that something more was out there than just accomplishing my goals. This was no longer the feeling of my independence. This was the feeling of my interdependence.

Later on that night, I called up my ex-student manager Marty because I just had to tell him what happened. I told him the story and he said to me, “You are that person in my life as well.” After hearing this for the second time that day, I knew that all the positive giving that I had put in over the last 6 months was coming back through different channels in my life. It was causing my awakening to my purpose.

After I had hung up the phone, I realized that this was the day that would change the direction of my life forever. I didn’t really know how, but I just felt it…

That night, really late, I got a phone call from one of my best friends, Do. He called me up seemingly down on himself. He expressed to me that he was having trouble with his new job selling houses. He was not able to successfully make sales calls to potential clients and asked me for my help. Whether it was mere coincidence or an alignment of the universe, he said, “I should have took your advice in college and sold books door to door with you.” Wham! What a knock to the head to end my day of awakening.

I talked with him for a while and gave him some pointers on how to approach the process of sales. After I got off the phone with him, I finally understood what my purpose in life was about. I realized that the highest level of achievement you could achieve by yourself will only allow you to reach a certain level of fulfillment. However you will never be satisfied. You will always be in search of that elusive level of satisfaction you thought the last accomplishment was going to give you. That is why you see so many millionaires trying to be billionaires. They are on the never end quest for more because they don’t know what they were truly looking for. They are searching that that magic pill that will make that empty feeling go away. The problem is that they are barking up the wrong tree. The idea of Interdependence, where you give and you shall receive, is the key to satisfying this never-ending desire for more. If you give to others with no expectation of getting anything back, life will reward you ten fold. This is when you will be at peace with yourself.

So I finally got a glimpse of the highest level of consciousness, Interdependence. I am far from being there, but I hope to continue my journey down this road with full faith in the final outcome.

So what exactly is interdependence? It is the belief that by you helping others with no expectations of reward, others will, in turn help you achieve your dreams. If you can cleanse your spirit and mind of the innate human trait of selfishness, you can then begin to connect yourself with the cosmos. For example, if can help an old lady across the street and still feel good about it even if she spits on you, you have released yourself from the human condition of selfishness. If you can help a client out with no intention of any gain on your part, even if it means that you are recommending them not use you, then you are free. These are the examples of a life of interdependence.

In the Dale Carnegie Course, there is one principle that I teach that says, “Expect Ingratitude.” I never really paid much attention to it until this summer, but now it makes perfect sense. By not expecting anything out of your actions to help, you will never be controlled by the negative feelings of contempt, hurt or anger that comes with ingratitude. These negative emotions are what sabotages your life’s energy. By expecting a reward from your actions, you are only serving yourself and not the other person. Helping others achieve their dreams or just brightening up their day, you are surrounding yourself with positive energy. There is a good chance that you will not be immediately rewarded for your selfless efforts but it will show itself when you expect it the least. Life will reward you for all those wonderful things you have done for others in the past.

During the most trying times of your life, many times you will no longer even be able to depend on yourself. The mountain is too big to climb, the depression is too great, the financial circumstance too dire for you to overcome. That is when interdependence will take control and life will help you out at just the right time. Maybe it was a friend that you had helped 20 years ago or that grocery clerk you made smile yesterday. There will be someone to help pick you up just like you had done for them in the past. You will not be alone. Your success no longer is a possibility, it is a destiny.

So believe that you can make a difference in this world. Give thanks to everyone that you love. Give appreciation to everyone who helps you. Give just as much love and appreciation to those you don’t even know. Lend a helping hand to everyone. That is the way to a greater more fulfilling life. You may not see or feel a difference in your life immediately, but have faith… the path that you are taking will lead to that elusive feeling that you have been searching for….. that great feeling of complete satisfaction and fulfillment. This is the path of Interdependence.

Independence: The Second Level of Consciousness

Have you ever had a feeling that life was passing you by? Or that you felt that you had a greater purpose than what you were currently doing? Do you ever wonder what happened to those big dreams you said you were going to accomplish? These feelings are caused by the lack of control you have in your life. The happenings of daily life create positive habits as well as negative habits. The easiest and most enjoyable path for short term happiness is that of comfort, acceptance and security. This path is the path of dependency. Dependency creates short term security, comfort, and acceptance. At the same time, this same path also creates long term unhappiness, helplessness and a never ending quest to try and achieve fulfillment in your life.

The fact that you have kept reading onto part two of this thread is a sign that you have began to develop awareness that there is something more to your life than what you have experienced so far. This does not mean you have not lived a great life up to this point, it just means you are beginning to awaken from the unconscious state most people live their entire lives in.

The questions we ask and the internal dialogue we have within ourselves decides what level of consciousness you currently are in, Dependence or Independence.

For example, a dependent person would ask questions such as:

What the hell is wrong with him?

I want to quit, but I ‘m not ready yet.

Why do bad things always happen to me?

When am I going to get my next raise? I wonder how much it will be.

Why is my boss such a jerk?

I don’t understand why people are so mean to me.

Nice guys finish last.

I’m upset that my job never offered me any training. Now I have no skills.

When your self talk resembles the statements above, you are relinquishing control of your life to someone or something else. In essence you are putting the responsibility for your situation on an external factor that is out of your control. It is not a surprise that when you ask yourself these types of questions you become emotionally charged in response to them. The feeling of helplessness is destructive to your self worth. It continually eats away at your self worth and before you know it, you will no longer have the strength to free yourself from it and you accept your situation as unchangeable. The majority of people in our society are willing to sacrifice this control in exchange for financial security or the approval of their peer group.

As stated earlier, the difference between someone in the dependent level and someone in the independent level is how they perceive the world. Below are some of the things that an independent person would say to themselves.

What can I do to get paid more?

How can I prepare myself for a better opportunity?

That guy must be having a bad day. (In response to rudeness or hostility)

How can I make sure next time this does not happen to me?

What can I do to get this project done in time?

I can’t control it; therefore I’m not going to worry about it.

This kind of dialogue is proactive and accepts the situation as it is. It does not allow the person to place themselves as a victim. This allows them to maintain control of their emotions and take responsibility for what has happened. There is no blaming of others for what happened. The ability to accept the situation is the fundamental key to freeing yourself of dependence. Not letting things bother you to the extent that it diminishes your self worth is how successful people end up rising above the norm.

Independence is when you can fully accept responsibility for your situation. Your decisions are no longer influenced by what others think of you or what has happened to you in the past. Your confidence comes from within and you no longer feel the ups and downs of daily life. Your interactions with others are no longer filled with anxiety, selfishness, hope, desire, or any ulterior motives to get to your end. You see that people begin to treat you differently, but at the same time you begin to treat others differently. Your inner calm and confidence directs your life and makes all negative experiences blend into the rest of the daily chatter thus reducing them to insignificance. You are now in control of your life and your emotions. You no longer depend on those external forces such as wealth, job situation, peer acceptance, material possessions or past events to dictate what your future will hold. You begin each day with excitement knowing you are in the driver’s seat and the world around you is under your full control.

Once you have achieved this level, you are in control of your mind, your body and your spirit. You no longer feel that your life is passing you by. The constant urgency that you felt to make more money and obtain greater levels of wealth and success are no longer there. You now realize that your internal happiness is the ultimate goal in your life and that everything happens for a reason.

The day will come when you feel at peace with yourself and the universe around you. You will see the world from the outside looking in. You finally see what it means to be independent…. Then you will begin to smile from the inside out.

Dependence: The Roller Coaster of Life

I have had many moments of clarity in the past year. Much of this clarity has been from observations of myself as well as people around me. One of the most important realizations I have had in my life is that I believe there are 3 different levels of consciousness that I believe people can achieve in their lifetime. The first level is Dependence, the second is Independence and the highest level is Interdependence. I have broken this down to 3 separate blog entries because this is fundamentally the most important aspect of my awakening. This is the first one…

Level 1: Dependence

We are a society based upon an imagined form. As a whole, we derive our self worth, confidence, identity and being mostly from outside sources. We have been programmed by society to base our identity on external factors such as material items. Things such as a nice car, a big house, a new gadget are all things we purchase to gain greater acceptance by your peers therefore increasing our own feelings of identity. The constant “keeping up with the Joneses” mentality helps maintain our self worth. If we “fall behind the Jones”, we feel unfulfilled. If we “surpass the Joneses”, then we gain an even greater feeling of self worth.

Aside from material items we also derive identity from other outside sources such as the people we surround ourselves with, the company we work for, the profession we are in, etc. Many times, people’s identities are fully intertwined with the professions they choose or by the girlfriend they are dating. We all take pride in our professions, our workplace, our friends, and our significant others. We can say to ourselves, “I’m a lawyer. I’m a great employee. I’m a great friend. “

One of the biggest determinants of our self worth and identity in our society is our own physical appearance. How we look determines how we feel about ourselves. You can deny it, but it has been unconsciously programmed into us. For example, if today you were to be caught in a fire and received 3rd degree burns in over 80% of your body, you would immediately lose a large sense of who you were. You would become depressed, your view of the outside world as well as your own identity would be thrown into a state of choas and you would no longer be yourself. This phenomena happens at a more gradually manner the older the we get. As we grow older, we gain weight, lose muscle mass, lose our hair, gain wrinkles, get stretch marks, etc. That is why many people as they get older do not feel as comfortable in their own skin as they did when they were younger.

We all derive our identity from what we do for a living, who are friends are, what people say about us, what neighborhood we live in, what sports team we cheer for, and many other things of this world. The problem with this level of consciousness is that our identity and our sense of self is directly dependent on external factors we cannot control and that can change in an instant. Companies can go out of business, our spouse can leave us, our new clothes can go out of style, our beauty will only last so long, our friends can ostracize us, etc. This dependence leads them to go through life reacting to events and feeling like they are the victim of the circumstances that exist around them.

I’m sure most of you all know many people who are like this. They depend on other people or events to make them happy. They also blame their depression or lack of fulfillment on those same people or past events. These people go through life blaming others for their low paying job, inconsistent family life, poor relationship histories, being overweight, etc. Them being responsible for these things are not in the realm of possibility. The path of least resistance is for them to blame their childhood, to blame their boss or job, to blame their genetic make up for being overweight, etc. You can also call this blame, “baggage”.

People who blame outside factors such as their boss, their job, their current financial situation, the college they went to, the childhood they had, the medical problems they are afflicted with or any other “cards life dealt to them” as a reason for their current situation, they are guaranteed a lifetime of frustration. It’s not about what happens to you that makes you feel a certain way, it’s how you react to those events that dictate you’re your ultimate satisfaction in life.

For example, I had a friend tell me once, “If I went to ABC College, things would have turned out different for me.” By not accepting responsibility for his current situation and letting go of the past, he was never able to move past this. He could not let go in order to finally decide to take control of his life and make the changes necessary to move in a new direction. He needed something good to happen to him in order for him to change his current state of affairs. This philosophy is poison to your soul. By buying into this, you are giving your life to the mercy of the events that happen to you. Thus you become a slave to the events in your life. You become happy when something good happens to you such as getting a raise. But you become unhappy when something bad happens to you such as when you get laid off. This is like a roller coaster ride. You never know when you will be going up or down. The sad thing is that most people live their entire life in this unconscious state. They never become aware and only see themselves as victims and never feel in control of their lives.

It is important to understand that we all have varying degrees of dependence. But the more you become aware of your dependence for material items, your dependence on your paycheck, your dependence on what others think of you; the more enlightened you become. Free yourself from your your dependence and take control of your life. Become aware of your existence and you will begin to see the reality of the world around you!

The “300″ Workout

If you want to look like a greek god, read on.

Some background:  In case you do not know the story of King Leonides and his last stand at Thermopylae here it is…

In 480 BC Xerxes, the leader of the Persians, had sailed into the Port of Malia which provided them the only access to Central Greece. By capturing the port and gaining access to central Greece, they would undoubtedly take over all of Greece. However the city of Sparta was the one thing standing in there way. The only way in and out of the port was the Pass of Thermopylae which was the only access point along the mountains of Themopylae.

So King Leonides led 300 of his elite Spartans to defend the pass of Thermoplyae so they could try and hold off the Persian horde until help arrived or until the Persians ran out of food and had to sail away. Even against all odds, his men stood beside him. Xerxes had brought a Persian army of over “10,000 immortals” and had crushed everything in has path. Leonides, the spartan general and king, led his loyal troops and they fought to their deaths and took a disproportionately high number of the immortals’ lives during their final stand at Thermopylae. This would become one of the greatest last stands in history. They were able to hold their position for 3 days against the unstoppable Persian army. However, on the third day, the Greeks were betrayed by one of their own country men who had showed the Persians a pass that ran behind the Spartan Army. Due to the betrayal, King Leonides and his men were slaughtered…..

For all of those who are familiar with the movie “300″ this is pretty much the story of the Spartans and how they faced insurmountable odds. These men were of the highest caliber when it came to honor, dedication and mental strength. If you have watched the movie, you will also notice that the actors all possessed insane physiques that are normally not seen in the typical gym. These guys looked like warriors and not just the typical meat head.

For the movie, in order to look like a spartan warrior, they needed train like spartan warriors. The sinewy muscle development that they were able to develop was a product of their dedication to a extreme workout using compound exercises as well as proper nutrition and rest. So I decided to see what this workout was about and try it out for myself. Below is the workout. You are supposed to do it with little to no rest between each exercise and ideally do it in 20 minutes… haha… yeah… if you are a greek god.

THE “300″ WORKOUT

• 25 pull-ups
• 50 dead lifts with 135 pounds
• 50 push-ups
• 50 jumps on a 24-inch box
• 50 “floor wipers” (Removed mainly for safety reasons.. until we get up to it)
• 50 1-arm clean and presses with 36-kettlebell (Replaced Kettle bell with 35lb dumbell)
• 25 pull-ups

So this past Saturday, I went to the gym with the workout and tried to kick some ass. It looked pretty simple and straight forward. My workout out buddy, Matt, joined in on the fun.

HOLY GOD ALL MIGHTY!!!! What a test in mental will power! By the end of the 50 dead lifts, I was not thinking positive thoughts. Luckily I had the 50 push ups to give me some rest. haha… But then the box jumps came…. if there is one exercise you never want to do again, this would be it. After about 15, I felt all the lactic acid build up and could barely muster up the explosion to do anymore jumps. Failure seemed imminent, but I just kept pushing and grinding away one jump at a time. Slowly but surely I passed 30, then 40, then 45, 47…. finally 50! Afterwards, the clean and presses were a test in mental discipline and not giving up. My legs were burning, my lower back spasming uncontrollably and my shoulders beyond the point of destruction. I was only operating on fumes, but I knew I couldn’t give up.

Finally! I made it to the final 25 pull ups… my strength was sapped and I could barely do 5 at a time…. but when I hit that magic number of 25 and I had finished the 300 workout, a feeling of accomplishment came over me that I had never felt at the gym before. My muscles no longer burned and for an instant, I knew I had conquered the insurmountable odds and made my own stand at Thermopylae. Then I collapsed like a rag doll onto the bench and laid there for a few minutes waiting for my body to recover from the ultimate destruction it had just endured… I plan to do it again next week but in less time!

So if you get a chance, try this workout for yourself. Prove to yourself that you have the mental toughness to not give up even when your body screaming for you to stop. This workout will make tough guys cry like babies and gym newbies wish they had never even tried. It is not for the faint of heart, so only attempt it if you are physically and mentally ready for it. Success in this program comes from having developed mental toughness and physical endurance. However, if you choose to do this now, there will be times you will want to quit, but those are the most important times! Those are the moments that will decide your destiny!

“How to Achieve Your Childhood Dreams”

This is a lecture series given by Dr. Randy Pausch of Carnegie Mellon University. It is a great perspective on life from his experience and his ineveitable death in the near future from pancreatic cancer.
This is a great 10 minute clip that will inspire you to live your life differently… worth a watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tIyt8oSLVs

If you have time here is the extended version. (76 Minutes)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo&NR=1

I give him much respect.

The Millionaire Mind

I was browsing my collection of books this morning and I ran across “The Millionaire Mind” by Thomas J. Stanley. The book is based upon survey data of 2,487 millionaires and what they believe to be the keys to their success.

Many of us dream big…. bigger than we would ever tell our friends and family for fear of being ridiculed. If you don’t dream big, you will have no chance of achieving those lofty goals. Most of us here would like to be millionaires. It actually doesn’t seem too difficult. A net worth of $1Million seems pretty simple, right? Not according to the numbers because only 4.9% of US households have a net worth of over $1Million dollars. That is pretty astonishing…. That means 1 out of every 20 people will achieve that level of financial prosperity. Very grim news for those people who just strive to be ‘above average’.

There are very few people who have what it takes to make it to the promise land. I believe I am one of them and I know that if you are reading this you are one of them as well. If you take the time to improve yourself and reflect on your goals consistently and figure out ways of achieving it, you will be on the path to greatness.

Millionaire Mind’s Keys to Success… Take a moment and think of what you feel are the most important factors in becoming a millionaire and try to rank them in the order of importance…. really… think about it.

OK, so I hope you got a chance to do it. The results may be surprising. When I first picked up the book a number of years ago, I listed them in order of importance as hard working, being intelligent, being frugal, investing in retirement and some luck. I figured that’s pretty much all you need and luck being the deciding random factor that decides why that hardworking,smart, frugal individual never made it to the top.

I was definitely wrong….

Here are the KEYS TO SUCCESS rank in order of significance based on the survey of millionaires in the US.

1. Being honest with people (tied #1)

2. Being well disciplined (tied #1)

3. Getting along with people

4. Having a supportive spouse

5. Working harder than most

6. Loving my career or business

7. Having strong leadership qualities

8. Having a very competitive spirit.

9. Being well organized

10. Having an ability to sell my ideas/ products

11. Making wise investments.

12. Seeing opportunities others don’t see

13. Being my own boss

14. Willing to take financial risk given the return

15. Having good mentors

16. Having an urge to be well respected

17. Investing in my own business

18. Finding a profitable niche

19. Having extraordinary energy

20. Being physically fit

21. Having a high intellect

22. Specializing

23. Attending a top rated college

24. Ignoring detractors

25. Living below my means

26. Having strong religious faith

27. Being lucky

28. Investing in the stock market

29. Having excellent investment advisers

30. Graduating near/ at the top of my class

It’s surprising that my Asian parent’s ideology to get really good grades, go to a top rated college and being smart are all ranked at the very bottom of the factors millionaires believe were the cause of their financial success. Have you ever went on a road trip and made a turn and went in the wrong direction? By believing in the wrong philosophy in life, you in turn may be doing the same in your life. The good thing is that if you catch yourself early, it’s an easy detour back to the right path. If it’s too late, you got a long road ahead and you may never make it back.

What may have surprise you, as it did me, was that honesty was tied with self discipline as tops and getting along with others was 3rd. To say the least, 5 of the top 10 factors had to do with communications and human relations. The other 5 were internal factors that you have the ability to improve.

So I concluded from this book that since I believed I was hardworking, honest, possessed the ability to sell ideas and products, had a competitive spirit and got along well with others. I knew I had to work on the other 5 remaining factors that I was weak in. Those were leadership, cultivating a supportive spouse, well disciplined, making wise investments, and being well organized. So I had dedicated myself over the last few years to make those weaknesses into strengths. I am proud to say that I have been able to consciously improve my weaknesses into strengths over the last few years.

So I challenge you to do the same. Be honest with yourself. Most people aren’t. They don’t like hearing the truth. They live in self denial that they are the perfect being and everyone else is wrong. Look inward and see what strengths you have and what weaknesses you can improve on.

If you can get all those 10 factors to be strengths of yours, you should have no problem becoming a millionaire as well as being a great people person. What could be better than being rich AND having a wonderful family and a great group of friends?

… just make sure I’m one of them!

Success is a Numbers Game

So… I get this email from my friend Mike. He actually started this pretty amazing way of learning Chinese called Mando Mandarin. If anyone is interested, check out:

Mando Mandarin Website

The email was just a reminder of what it takes to become a success. Having people that expect more out of you is the key to being “extra”ordinary. I’m always happy to get emails like the one below. Our quest for greatness and fulfillment are fueled by the constant push amongst our peers… Anyways, here’s the email:

Work may bog us all down, but let us always remember what really gets us ahead!

By Jim Rohn:
My mentor taught me that success is a numbers game and very early he started asking me my numbers. He asked, “How many books have you read in the last ninety days?” I said, “Zero”; he said, “Not a good number.” He said, “How many classes have you attended in the last six months to improve your skills?” And I said, “Zero.” He said, “Not a good number.” Then he said, “In the last six years that you’ve been working, how much money have you saved and invested?” I said, “Zero” and he said, “Not a good number.” Then here’s what he said, “Mr. Rohn, if these numbers don’t change your life won’t change. But” he said, “If you’ll start improving these numbers then perhaps you’ll start to see everything change for you.”

Mike Cheng
Founder & President of Mando Mandarin

Jim Rohn is one of the most accomplished speakers out there. So ask yourself those same questions and see what type of numbers you have……